Why am I fighting myself so soon? Sunday and Monday I was on such a high thinking of all of the things that I wanted to accomplish. Well stepping on the scale daily is kind of killing it. Monday I was down .6, up .2 the next day and another .2 today. Granted it is not much, but is should be going in the other direction.
I really should be slapping some sense into myself because I know when ever I start working out again I gain a little bit of weight at first. I just wanted to believe that this time would be different and all I needed was the magic of working out and the weight would start to come off.
When I got home last night, like I always do, I weighed myself to see if what I ate for the day worked well. Meaning, how much weight did I gain. On a good day I would gain nothing from the morning. Yes, I am slightly psycho. Well yesterday I gained something like two pounds and I freaked because I felt like the number should be different. So, I ate a piece of bread pudding. LOL.
Yesterday was the day I found out that I truly am an emotional eater…lol. Who knew? Okay maybe I was in serious denial. I felt really bad that going to the gym hadn't changed much so I went to the very first thing that I said I couldn't have, my Grandma's Bread Pudding. What I've been doing is eating it as an afternoon snack instead of dessert which is so close to bed time.
Well let me tell you, the last two days made me realize that is may not be just the exercise, but I have gotten to relaxed in what I allow myself to eat. One thing I had stopped eating before was cheese because I thought that I couldn't tell the difference in my sandwiches. So, when I started eating it again I could really tell the difference. It's going to be really hard to give that up again, that and my need to have dessert. At one point I was still losing weight with allowing myself a small dessert at night so I thought I could still do it. Well that's out too, okay not until the bread pudding is gone. Lol.
Eating so far is pretty much on track for today and I went to the gym even in my disgust with myself for giving in, I will still make my goal of making it there 6 days a week. To everyone else out there hang in there and I will too.
