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In the past, I have searched the web for sites about people like me with a weight problem and how they over came their obstacles, but I did not find many where the person started out weighing over 150 pounds. So, I have decided to do my own and be my own motivation.
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Back from Vacation No. 2
This week was a really good week, only if you don't count my eating and exercising :) I knew before we left that I wasn't going to exercise this past week but I brought workout clothes anyway.

I do say that it was a fun and insightful week. Insightful how? Mr. J and I have different ways of viewing things. I get upset over seemingly little thing, but because I read so much into it, it's not little to me at all. I'm a big believe in it's not just what you say, but how you say it. My extra piece is why you said it.

There have been a few times that J has said some things that I thought were stabs at me, but not by what he said, but was meant by saying it in the first place. (Like always I'm sure people are lost). But that is the old issue the new one was just mean what you say. If we say we are going to do this and be here at a certain time that is what I expect. So when it doesn't happen it frustrates me.

The best example I have is that I don't like to let the day waste away. J and I were planning to leave at 1pm to go somewhere, but we didn't have to be there at a specific time. Well we fart around until 12:30pm so we won't be leaving on time. But my expectation is that when we start to get ready we move, not to continue moving slowly and really do nothing. So after I rush to get ready I'm sitting there waiting for him and he barely has any clothes on. So instead of saying something mean I get quite for a while.

Maybe I should say something, but I know his rebuttal would be why are we rushing. I guess it is because I know the slower we more the more likely we will end up going no where or changing our plans because it is too late.

That's just me. I'm not always on time or anything, but certain things bug me. It was funny. Our last night there, we had went out with his family to grab dinner. After we were finished he asked me if I wanted to share a cookie and I said yes. A half hour later I ask he why haven't he gone and bought the cookie. His response was that it was more of a suggestion than an actual offer. So I yell at him how am "I supposed to know that!" He never gave me an answer. He thought I was, so excited over a cookie, but I let him know that the "cookie" is never the issue. I told him that that was my problem all along. He would set me up with an expectation that I thought we both agree on, but he changes it saying that when he said it he didn't mean it to be a definite. Urgh! It annoys me so.

So, we had some very open conversations which were good. Now, on to the fun stuff. I did things I never did before. One day we went parasailing. Now let me tell you we were up higher than most of the buildings that were close to the beach. A couple of days later we went jet skiing. The air temperature was nice, but the water felt like ice, but it was so much fun. Later that evening, we went to J's stepfather's friend's house, which was beautiful and had dinner with him and his wife.

First of all I love J's parents, both sets, they are really inspiring and to now meet some of there friends, I feel almost jealous that J has had so many great role models in his life. So far I have had my sister, but I think she has brought me as far as she could take me. Now I have to find someone else. After talking with J's Parent's friends I feel more inspired to do what I want, even to get married and start that extending the family (okay that's not at least for 5, I think. All of these people show me that you can be happy, and almost have it all. I can at least strive for it.

It was funny, not so long after we stopped at the house for dinner they asked us when we were planning to get engaged. We were both speechless, but it was more me than J because he wanted me to speak, because like I said before, if I left it up to him we would get married tomorrow. Not only were they talking about marriage, but about where we wanted to live. And what were our future plans. And in my mind we have been making so many plans, but a lot of them are contingent on us getting married. Which we have long decided that it's going to happen it's just a matter of when.

At this point I have put so many restrictions on him that I will probably be able to pin point the day that he's going to propose. Okay I'm just kidding, but that is the way it feels. I told him that he couldn't propose until we have been dating at least one year and that we should have a one year engagement. Which I think all seems reasonable, but reasons behind it I think are not so reasonable. I guess I am always worried about what people, (me, my family, friends) will think. That I am rushing into a serious commitment or I don't know him well enough, or who knows what else. I have been trying to drop hints to my family, but they haven't been taking them so well, like I should count my chickens before they hatch, that was comment from my mom.

I don't know, but what I do know is while I ponder this there are so many more important things going on in my life, like passing that darn C-P-A exam, focusing on work, and oh yeah, my health! Who could have missed that one? My weight is still creeping up, but there are no more vacations, so I have no excuse for eating bad, I will be staying at my apartment during the week as J is off for summer vacation, teachers are so lucky. This means I will be able to go to the gym in the morning and hopefully plan my meals better. I can do it, I've done it before.
Posted by Stacey @ 12:57 PM :: (0) comments
About Me
Name: Stacey
Home: Queens, New York
See my complete profile


Age: 27
Height: 5'7"
SW: 232 | CW: 232 | GW: 160
Plan: Semi Body-for-Life

Email: Special Lady

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