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In the past, I have searched the web for sites about people like me with a weight problem and how they over came their obstacles, but I did not find many where the person started out weighing over 150 pounds. So, I have decided to do my own and be my own motivation.
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2005-10-17

Roller Coaster
This past week has been a real roller coaster. I did make it to the gym three times which is very good considering that I haven’t been there very much in the past month, and I went to visit my family for the weekend. Two highlights of the week are I played poker with my co-workers on Wednesday and Bowling with them on Friday. Poker was fun until I was knocked out. My goal was to take the partner out, but he caught a card on the river. What can I say, I tried. Friday’s outing was for one of my co-workers who is leaving the firm. It also is the person that I had a small crush on but wouldn’t think anymore of it because we worked together, but now that he is gone…. No I can’t do that I think it would still be too weird.

This weekend I finally got to see my sister and nephew after months. He’s gotten so smart and I can understand him now…lol. But it still was an awesome method of birth control. I couldn’t handle that on a daily basis just yet. I finally got to show my sister my vacation pictures among others. And do you know what she said about a picture I took back in July? You look smaller there. Ghee thanks! Oh it is on now. I went to the gym this morning and I’m going to keep it up.

I also saw a friend of mine in the mall that I hadn’t seen in 5 years. She was like my best friend from 1st – 10th grade. I had mixed feelings about her. She was my friend but I always felt like I was living in her shadow. She was the pretty one. And of course that day I was looking a hot mess, jeans, tee-shirt, and in need of a relaxer badly. And of course her hair and outfit was together. So, it kind of felt like old times. I’ll give her a call. Maybe things will be different this time.

The low parts of the week are that I didn’t eat too well, not completely horrible, but not good either and one of my co-workers was giving me major attitude. She’s the only other woman here, so I thought we should stick together. Yeah what a mistake that was. Come to find out while I was on vacation she proceeded to tell a car full of co-workers all of my business and some that was really even mine to tell. So, all I can say is that’s what I get, first telling her mine and then something about someone else. What she told them wasn’t bad stuff, but it is that fact that it was personal and that I don’t normally trust people with anything to begin with so I feel betrayed.

So, this brought me to the question why did I think I could trust her? I don’t know. Well not until after I talked to FB about it. He reminded me of how she would call me to see if I was ok if I didn’t come to work or was late, and even emailed him to check on me. It seemed like we got along well and we talked about anything. Well I was wrong. As soon as she had the opportunity to gossip she took it. It reminds what this lady I worked with a long time ago said, “If you can help it at all never work with an office full of women”. I understood why then, but I really understand why now. No just this situation, but I seen it at another client that I worked on. If you are not in the group you are really ostracized. That and women are catty.

So that is why when she came back from vacation I wasn’t really talking to her, I was cordial, good mornings were said and if I had to address her for something else and that was it. Which is why I think her attitude when south, but she was being really nasty to me. My other co-worker, the one who told me everything to begin with, said that he told me because he thought it was inappropriate has she was telling me business and was just warning me to be careful. And this time he told me that the reason she said she was giving me attitude was because of something I said about her a long time ago.

A bunch of us were at lunch and someone jokingly said that I was mean and she agreed. So, later I asked her why she really thought I was mean. Come to find out I made the mistake of calling her high maintenance and was offended by it. When she told me I apologized and told her I didn’t mean anything bad about it. Come on now, she buys expensive shoes and clothes like there is no tomorrow, but I didn’t say that to her. And all I could think to that was get over it and grow up. You want to have attitude about that now, get out of my face with that. I know that isn’t the real reason, but what ever.

Normally I would say that I won’t trust another woman again, but that’s a lie. I am very optimistic and I know there are great people out there like myself. ;) I just have to be careful. The same thing is going down on the women’s team on The Biggest Loser. They are self destructing. When will we learn….
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About Me
Name: Stacey
Home: Queens, New York
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Stats:

Age: 27
Height: 5'7"
SW: 232 | CW: 232 | GW: 160
Plan: Semi Body-for-Life


Email: Special Lady

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