Well people after today I have about 8 weeks left until my trip. I'd like to call this the do or die period. I can not wait any longer to make an effort to lose weight. Yesterday was my first day back at the gym and I made it today as well. I have gone to the grocery store, I am bringing my lunch, and dinner is cooked for the week. I am proud of myself, but on the other hand it's about time. I have some really high hopes about the amount of weight I want to lose. It's achievable, but only with discipline. No more oops!

Now after saying that, me and J (I guess I'll start calling him my boyfriend) are going on a trip this weekend just to spend sometime together and go experience restaurant week out in the Hamptons. So I must learn to fight the temptations and remember portion control.

This morning at the gym I had two very different feelings on being that it felt natural like I never left that the want to be in the gym hadn't disappeared for a minute. But after that feeling I passed by the unforgiving row of mirrors and was disgusted with myself, and just to think even at my low I wasn't satisfied. Now what I wouldn't give to be rid of the 15lbs. that I had gained.

I have been telling J about my larger self in the passed and when I start talking about it he reminds me that it is in the past and to concentrate on the now, which he thinks is fine, and if I want to change it do something about it. That is what I have decided to do, do something. Gosh I like it when he's so encouraging.