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In the past, I have searched the web for sites about people like me with a weight problem and how they over came their obstacles, but I did not find many where the person started out weighing over 150 pounds. So, I have decided to do my own and be my own motivation.
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2005-07-26

Avenue Q
It was a good broadway play. They should put a rating of "R" on it, not intended for children under the age of 17. It was a play that I of course could relate to. IT was about a guy fresh out of college, starting his first job, and not having much money at his disposal. He moves to Avenue Q because that is all he could afford. The play covers issues like racism, homosexuality, and relationships.

Mind you this play is done using puppets with a sesame street theme to it. In one scene the main character gets this girl drunk and they do a crazy, over the top sex scene using naked and "developed" puppets. I was partially in shock because this was the closing dinner/event for one of my clients and the partner and his wife was there probably wondering who picked this play and the fact that there were kids in the audience.

The play was funny, but just one part kind of rubbed me wrong. There is this song they sang saying that "everyone is just a little bit racist". Which I don't think is true. Talking about stereotyping people, we all do it, and some of them are true. They gave some examples that might be very offensive to some people. That's when they said if people were just a little less "PC" maybe we all could get a long more. Maybe it is the term used. Racist is really strong. If they said prejudice maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. I don't think everyone is racist, to me meaning that they think their race is superior. Anyway go see the play I enjoyed it.

I intended on starting back to the gym this morning but I got home so late and I am extremely tired. I didn't get much sleep this past weekend too because a few of my friends from college came up to NYC on a trip forgetting that I lived here. They called me and we went out to lunch. So since they were already staying way out by the airport I suggested they stay at my place, save a little money. Of course being who they are they did.

I really enjoyed spending time with them, it made me miss North Carolina a little bit. Things were so much simpler back then. (That's what part of the play was saying it seemed like we had it all figured out in college) And of course the guys that visited me are religious, but one is extremely so, and kinda made me feel guilty. I haven't been going to church here in the city. I use to go all the time and I really enjoyed it. I still do I just haven't found a church to go to, that and I haven't been actively looking.

I've been evaluating my life trying to figure out what is so different and why things changed. I guess I am still simply growing and learning. FB news, still no job and this makes me worried for him. He hasn't come around and I think it is a pride thing. I don't think he feels like a "man" right now because he doesn't have a job and he doesn't want to be seen pinching pennies because he's broke, and he definitely won't ask for help. But he has family around so I'm not too worried even though he was the one who made the most.

Then again I could just be making excuses for him and he really just doesn't want to be with me and that's ok. I will let time tell. On a bad news note, the scale has tipped and not in my favor. I'm above 190 again. I think I have been in denial, it's been like this for more than a week now I just didn't want to admit it. I must go to bed early tonight. I need to get it together I will not go back to how I use to be not if I can help it.
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About Me
Name: Stacey
Home: Queens, New York
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Stats:

Age: 27
Height: 5'7"
SW: 232 | CW: 232 | GW: 160
Plan: Semi Body-for-Life


Email: Special Lady

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