I've noticed that recently I have been setting really small goals for myself saying that I know that I can make them. I tell myself that slow and steady is how you win the race, and then still don't reach the goal. Why is that? I think I can sum it up in one word, procrastination. If I have more than enough time to complete something I will push it off until I can't complete it within the time allotted.

The reason for these thoughts is Renee's challenge that I agreed to participate in and want to honor, the deadline is approaching fast. I've been telling myself again and again that I have time. Well now we have about three weeks left. I think I still can make my goal but I have to get on the ball now. The sad thing is I only agreed to 5lbs. when I know I can do more, all because I figured it was nothing. We shall see over these next few weeks.

I was technically "starting" this morning but I though it was raining horribly like it was last night and figured I could go tonight. This is what I told myself in my half asleep mode quarter to six this morning. Normally when I really wake up I realize that it was just a scheme to get me to go back to sleep. I say this because I can't stand going to the gym at night. So tonight as a punishment that is where I am going. I have my stuff with me and I must force myself.

It is not that I hate working out I just don't like the gym atmosphere at night and I'm usually tired after work. Maybe this will be my motivation tomorrow. I also have to plan my food a little better. I've only eaten twice today so far and they haven't been balanced by far. I am almost afraid of entering my food into Fitday for the fear of really looking into what I have eaten and how I am hurting myself. I've been still getting comments, and each one makes me feel bad because I know I am not doing right. I'm trying to change that.

I will use the challenge to lose what ever amount of weight I can before the cruise in September because I know I am going to gain some of it back. See when I go on vacation I really let loose on everything. One might say why mess up all of your hard work. I figure if I hadn't lost anything I would have been worse off. But to tell the truth, after my trip I want to set an aggressive goal. I tend to handle pressure better. I want to feel accomplished again. If I don't meet the goal and come close I still can be happy with progress that I have made.

Here's to a good work out tonight and a healthy dinner.