Today is J's birthday. I bought him a digital camera and I'm so jealous because I got a really good deal on it I almost want to buy it for myself. I'm glad it's his birthday because I need something positive to focus on. I'm going to his aunt's house after work to meet him there. She always tries to feed me, which I feel like that is what I want, but I know I don't.

The last two days have been rough for me. I got my overall rating at my job and it's not looking good. I don't think that they will fire me, but you never know, they are firing people left and right. First of all I don't think I should have gotten the rating that I did, but I doesn’t look like I'll be able to change anything now. This means I might not get a raise which will really suck.

So, as of now I believe that it is definite that I will be leaving the firm right after busy season. I must get all of my ducks in a row. Getting my C-P-A license must be my main focus. I told J that he couldn't come over every night and that it's not his fault. When I know he is coming over somehow I don't get anything done. This has to change immediately.

He's going back to Virginia this weekend to watch his little brothers while both of his parents are out of town. It makes me wonder what they would do if he wasn't a teacher and had a real job.

Here's to feeling better, I hope I will soon.