Right now for me it is that the scale is continually increasing. I am reminding myself again that you have to just do it. Make the right choice. This morning was a struggle. When I have work to do I just get up early and work until it is time to go to work. I had planned on going to the gym because when I stay at my apartment I have the opportunity to do so. But what I would do in the past was no go because work was more important.

How messed up is that! Work is more important than my health. It's not that is why I went, that and I realized that anything I did in that hour would make a big difference in how far behind I am in my work.

I plan to go tomorrow too as a last chance work out. HA! Who am I kidding, last chance for what? My appearance is not going to change in the next day, so I must accept it. That's what J told me last night. Do something about it, but accept where I am right now and do something about it. I tell him I don't know how he could continue to find me attractive if I kept gaining weight. I know you can love someone, but to be attracted is another story. Or that's what I thought, J seems to think otherwise. I don't want to give him an opportunity to test out his theory, so how about I start losing weight now.