But what do I expect when I haven’t been doing what I am supposed to be. I didn’t know that I could be so close to my short term goal and not reach it, you would think it would be in me to “just do it”, but it’s not. Three pounds away from being under 200 and I can’t seem to do it. But I will, I know it, I have to. I just have to really want it enough to do something about it. You know the bible saying, “Faith without works is dead”, well in my case it means that I will stay fat. But no, “Help is on the way!” (you have to say it with the Mrs. Doubtfire conviction, one of my favorite movies of course…lol, though I have many)

I finally made it to the gym on Tuesday, but haven’t been back since. What I have been eating is ok, but not spaced out appropriately. One might say that I shouldn’t beat myself up, but I say if I was in a routine it would be ok, but I’m not, so tighten up missy!…lol. My motivation and awareness is coming back slowly but surely. Now when I look at or eat something bad, I kind of get this icky feeling and some thing tells me “you know you shouldn’t be eating that” or “don’t touch it or even look at it”. I guess they have always been there, they are just louder now and I am listening to them again.

Last night, my co-workers and I left a little early to go out to dinner since the press release was finished. I was good, seafood and only a spoonful of potatoes, they were gross anyway…lol. I finally got home at a decent hour. And then the Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova quarter final match of the Australian Open was on and of course I had to watch my inspiration play, that’s Serena if you didn’t know. She almost lost, but fought off 3 match points and 3 breakpoints near the end of the match. You should have seen her jump for joy at the end, Serena got hops! She flew into the air. I was so excited for her, I’m sure my neighbors heard me at 12:30 in the am. So over course you know I didn’t make it to the gym this morning.

I think I am built like Serena underneath all of this fat and minus the butt, she look like she stole some of mine, you know we were born around the same time…lol. I know I’ll never be small but I can look lean like her. Well here’s to another day of doing better.