Once again I am reminded that a lot of my friends are getting married and I am still alone. All I can think of is aren’t we too young for this? Don’t get me wrong all of them have been in these relationships for at least four years or more. Which is good, but if it was me I think I’d still wonder about what else is out there. Then again, I’m out here and nothing is happening…lol.
Another thing I realized is that I know nothing about weddings. These things are extremely expensive especially in NYC. My friend told me that she is almost at the $60,000 mark. Are you kidding me! For a wedding, someone has lost their mind. Do you know what I could do with that much money? The good thing for her is her mother has been putting aside money ever since she was a little girl into a wedding fund that she didn’t know about. I know not to ask my mom because it definitely ain’t happening here.
Then there is the gift etiquette. Someone said that your gift should be at least enough to cover your plate or the cost of you being there. They also said that you could figure this out by seeing what is the average rate at the place they are having the reception at. Okay, since my friend is already spending that much money, the cost of my being there most definitely will be at least $100 or more. She’s lucky I like her.
The etiquette my family laughed at was the part that the parents of the Bride and Groom should each give a gift of $5,000 and the siblings $1,000 each. I got all excited thinking if I had that kind of help things shouldn’t be too hard. My sister kindly informed me that that is how it is done in most African American families. When my aunt got into the conversation you would have thought someone had personally attacked her about the whole situation, I just think that she’s feeling guilty about the cheap gifts that she has given. She has made nice gifts for me and others, but I don’t always like them. In her defense she did make my cousin’s bouquet for here wedding out of fake flowers that looked real and was really beautiful. Anyway, to cut this short I have to realize that I will be paying for my own wedding almost in full.
What do you guys think? Is all of this true, and are there some other etiquettes that I should know of?
Special Lady,
While my status as a man may somewhat invalidate my opinions, here are my thoughts:
1)If you think you are too young, you are too young.
2) You pay what you are willing to pay. Out wedding cost $1,500. We paid over twice that for the honeymoon. Look, the next day all the two of you have are each other, the pictures, and the bills. Therefore, don't skimp on the photographer. Skimp on everything else.
3) Gift etiquette? There is no such thing. You get them what you want to get them. What, will they not be your friend anymore or something? We gave frames to put the nice pictures in.
The only other etiquettes that I know of were that I was to show up on time, sober, not hungover, and in the right outfit. I managed to accomplish those, and we are debt free with two cars less than three years later. The marriage is the kicker - not the wedding.